Thursday, April 21, 2011

Get your boobs out of your pockets, etc...

The female form is amazing. As straight as I am, I truly, madly, and deeply appreciate the beauty of a woman. Please appreciate yourselves, too. There are few, if any, fashion, hygiene, or maintenance issues we cannot fix, or have fixed.
So here I am on my soap box bitching about all the things I can't stand.
1. Get your boobs out of your pockets. One of our "largest" female assets are our breasts. And if propping them up appears to tighten my waist and add sexy to my curves, I'm all in! Because when you let your boobs hang in the wrong, loose, bras it does you no favors. It ruins your posture and sickens your appearance. Or, sickens me when I see you appear. Sorry.
If you are part of the more than 80% of women that are wearing the wrong bra size, you obviously aren't alone. But, there's help. Most lingerie stores offer complimentary bra fittings. Take advantage of this. Everyone, take advantage of this. Life changes your boobs. Whether it's weight loss, weight gain, pregnancy, hormones, or time your boobs WILL change. Commit to a yearly bra fitting. It's free!
2. Facial hair bothers me too. I've seen women that maintain a well manicured mustache, and maybe they think I should cut them a break. Nope! My blog. My opinion. Unless you are making good money in a travelling circus it's totally unnecessary and masculine, in my opinion. Spas and most nail salons offer facial waxing for less than $20 per area. There are creams and at home kits too. There are threading kiosks in malls. You even have the option of braving it through electrolysis, the practice of electrical epliation to permanently remove hair. You have options, other than to be satisfied going through life with a handle bar mustache, goatee, full beard, and/or caterpillars for eyebrows.
Facial hair is not the end of the world. Every woman has a little lip fuzz, a few crazy chin hairs, or insane eyebrows. We all have to manage this. Manage it!
3. Hygiene. Practice good hygiene especially in the key area. Again there are products marketed specifically for the cleansing, freshening, and/or managing of the female hot zone. This is so important. You can be the prettiest and best dressed, driving the perfect car to the most fabulous house, but none of that matter is your body isn't well taken care of. Most people will never tell you this, but they will tell others about you.
If you have tried and failed at this, there's probably a bigger problem at hand. You should make an appointment with your doctor, immediately.

Does your outfit make sense?

Recently, I was at a casual function when I was approached by a young lady in a striped navy and white cotton tank, gray faded skinny jeans, and suede taupe round toe wedges. Huh? I get the tank and jeans, it's casual, but suede wedges? You make no sense. And, you topped it off with plastic faux pearl kiddie jewels in yellow and on stretch cord. I can't handle it. It makes me want to push you down and roll you under a table. Not to hurt you, but to get rid of you and your ensemble.
I understand quirky. I love quirky, oddity, and individualism to a point. But, it's a clearly defined point that is summed up by saying no ridiculousness...please.
I got this book called What to Wear When by Hillary Kerr and Katherine Power. It was a gift with a purchase from their shoe line on The beautiful Ms. Parker. And, it took my current fashion faux pas annoyance up another 10K levels. This book exists because it's frighteningly relevant. Because, for whatever reason people have a difficult time piecing together a sensible outfit. It's time to fix that once and for all!
Ask yourself some key questions as you make wardrobe decisions. This will help you make appropriate choices.
1. Where are you going?
2. Is this an indoor or outdoor function?
3. Is there a stated or implied dress code?
4. What time of year is it?
5. What's the weather like?
6. What are your responsibilities?
7. Who's going to be there?
8. Do these pieces make a sensible outfit?
I run these questions through my head at every wardrobe change, with the weather channel blaring in the background.
Fashion is not easy. It is intentional. Proceed with caution.

Thursday, February 3, 2011


I found this interesting and wanted to share. It makes me wonder if the color I wear will influence my mood.
is the warmest of all colors.
is the color most chosen by extroverts.
symbolizes passion and love.
is associated with warmth.
means life and energy.
is a power color.
is one of the healing colors.
is said to increase food cravings.
stimulates enthusiasm and creativity.
means vitality with endurance.
represents thoughtfulness and sincerity.
driving characteristic is curiousity.
symbolizes exploration of new things.
means creativity and spice for life.
is bright and sunny.
is creative and intellectual energy.
symbolizes wisdom.
means joy and happiness.
brings clarity and awareness.
comes with a sense of establishment.
can clear the mind, making it active and alert.
can relieve panic, nervousness, and exhaustion.
is the color of nature, fertility, and life.
is the most restful color.
symbolizes self-respect and well being.
is the color of balance.
means learning, growth, and harmony.
is safe.
is favored by well balanced people.
symbolizes healing.
stands for good health and growth.
is the coolest color.
is the color of inspiration, sincerity, and spirituality.
is often the chosen color by conservative people.
is the calming color.
is soothing and the color of truth and moderation.
stands for good friendships.
symbolizes calm and relaxation.
stands for good communication.
means solitude and peace.
is the color of good judgment.
gives peace of mind and spiritual fulfillment.
is good for mediation.
has been used to symbolize magic and mystery.
represents royalty.
is the color of purpose.
symbolizes imagination and balance.
is the color of universal love.
is a quiet color.
represents beauty.
helps neutalize stress and violence.
symbolizes caring, tenderness, and acceptance.
means love.
represents self-worth.
is relaxing.
represents women's health and beauty.
is the color of purity.
means kindness.
is complete energy of light.
stands for wholeness and completion.
stands for openness and truth.
can move towards every color.
means new beginnings.
clears clutter and obstacles.
brings mental clarity.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

LEGGINGS or tights?!

She was in line ahead of me at McAlisters, the eatery. She was with a friend. They were talking about something irrelevant, and I was annoyed with their chatter. Then I looked down and notice that she, like many, had confused tights with leggings. Her petite shape and tunic kept it from being vulgar or offensive, but not ridiculous.

This has been a problem every since the return of the leggings. Outside of the fact that leggings shouldn't be worn by just everyone. They aren't forgiving, and the tunic and the dress need to be legging staples. Outside of those VERY important things, leggings and tights are two different things. No matter if they are cropped, colored, or embellished, if you can see through them...AT ALL...they aren't appropriate as leggings.

I could clearly see her legs through her tights, and when she dropped her straw I held my breathe and looked away. Thank God she'd learned to bend at the knee and not at the waist. I'm sure the midlife crisis in line behind me almost shit himself in anticipation though.

So if not for yourself, for me, don't be confused between leggings and tights. Don't just trust the packaging. Use common sense to be sure that I can't see straight though your faux leggings, AKA tights.

Happy New Year

As we embark on a new year, many people are making their resolutions, what they plan to do new or different this year.
The gym will probably be packed and banks will probably see less overdraft charges. Bills will be paid on time, and everyone will hold on to their merriness and holiday patience and love. This will last until the end of January, or maybe longer depending on how long it takes for the tax refunds to run out.
January is the honeymoon period. It's that time when everyone is on their very best behavior. But, it's typically downhill after this.
So I propose that before you change everything about yourself for just 31 days, you forgo the resolutions. Crumple up the paper you've written them on today, instead of later this year, and throw it away, instead of later this year. DO NOT make any more resolutions; instead, make decisions. Have goals. Establish a plan. This year, make changes in your life or plans for your life that are challenging, but attainable. Don't give yourself a 12 month, or 31 day, due by date. Take all the time you need to be who you feel you need to be, accomplish what you want to accomplish, or tackle what you want to tackle.
Happy New Years! CHEERS!!!