Sunday, August 23, 2009

Panic! Attack!

Symptoms of a Panic Attack

Racing heartbeat
Chest pains
Fear of dying
Dizziness or lightheadedness
Flushes or chills
Difficulty breathing
Tingling or numbness
Feelings of unreality
Fear of losing control or doing something embarrassing

Information courtesy of

I suffer from extreme issues with anxiety. It's been an issue for me since junior high. It was drastically heightened in high school and the first couple years of college. This is a horrible, multi-faceted, disorder.

One of the most difficult things for me is triggering an attack by anticipating an attack. This happens often. I get nervous about entering a potentially stressful situation. I get paranoid, have a hot flash, and feel so uneasy I get nauseous. It's terrible. It makes me a recluse. I become shy and standoffish. I don't like me, like this.

I have suffered this as far back as I can remember. It's fluctuated from bad to worse and back to bad. I've had sleeplessness, hallucinations, and anything from zero appetite to binge eating. This has been difficult.

Why wasn't it diagnosed? Why have I suffered so long? Because no one else noticed, and I didn't have the good sense to bring it up. I remember my brother telling me a story about his childhood. As a child my brother had eye problems. He couldn't see the blackboard clearly. He just worked his way up to the front of the classroom and did the best he could. He suffered silently. After his near sightedness was discovered, everyone wanted to know why he never said anything about not being able to see. He thought everyone was dealing with the same problem. They were making it work, so he just had to figure out how to make it work too. That was me. I felt like everyone must have some depression, anxiety, and insecurities. Everyone must have panic and anxiety attacks. Everyone must be managing it better than I do. Not so.

I still struggle with this. I find that my appearance is a trigger. I suffer if I don't look as well as the crowd. A part my attacks is the fact that I DO care A LOT about what other people think of me, what I do, and how I do it. I have to focus on my appearance. I probably have an unhealthy obsession with it. When it comes to my style, my appearance, I want a good fit, an appropriate look, and some obvious comfort. This helps me. If I can be confident about my shell it takes some of the edge off. It's one less thing to worry/panic about. Then it comes down to my organization, preparedness, and using learned methods to avoid or work through an attack. This is ongoing. I'm not the only one, but because everyone doesn't deal with this I have to give it real attention.

If you're a victim, do what you need to do to manage this. Take your power back from panic or anxiety attacks. It's a struggle, but possible.

Saturday, August 22, 2009


What impression do you give off? What do the people you interact with think of how you look? This can be a dangerous question to actually ask. If it's bad they'll lie and if it's amazing they'll down play it. Instead take a long, REALISTIC, look in a full length mirror. Are your clothes faded, tattered, or torn? Are they ill fitting? Even if you feel "comfortable" you may not exude it. Remember: Good comfort is equal to, at least, the appearance of confidence. It is so incredibly important to make a positive powerful impression. You cannot do that if you don't have ALL your I's dotted, T's crossed, duck's in a row, etc, etc.

MORAL: Make good impressions. Do not rely on a great first impression only, impressions are continuous. Stay on top of things, by day, hour, and minute. Be comfortably confident continuously!


I learned a lesson today. It's a lesson I've learned numerous times before, but always ignored. Linen. Linen has no place in life other than outdoor summer parties. Only parties where you are comfortable standing, motionless, for hours. Because, linen is bound to wrinkly uncontrollably even as you're putting it on. It is the devil's fabric, tempting and seemingly trustworthy.

I love linen though. It's as if I'm walking around in nice wide leg, wrinkled, pajamas. LOL. I now firmly understand it needs to be reserved for casual events only. It is in no way office appropriate! Unless you are in the most business casual of offices. And, although my office is lenient, I can't do this to MYSELF again. It's not even 10 AM, been here since 8 AM, and I look like I slept in these pants. Don't try it! I even put them on following a good starching from the dry cleaner. I've been down this road before. I thought this would fix the problem.

Now it's official, LESSON LEARNED!

*Surprisingly enough, I've gotten numerous compliments on my beautiful, wrinkled, linen pants.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009


I love talking about, AND, getting all glamed up! Absolutely love it! I think it's so much fun. I realize I don't do it near enough in my life. It's truly a great experience when you step out glam to death. It feels good, looks good, and does something amazing with your confidence!

But, that's not all. Do not dress up your outside and destroy the inside. Check your 'tude at your door. Don't walk out of your house feeling yourself so much that you turn into a bitch. Do not! Be careful of with who and how you interact. Do not embarass yourself! Don't share too much of yourself with unworthy people. This means emotionally, mentally, and PHYSCALLY! Learn how to be discreet and what to be discreet about. Control your power well, don't give it away, and don't misuse it. Master yourself. Know yourself well and be confident.

It's been said time and time again that you should look the part, but this is bigger. You should be doing more to get the part. Actresses and actors looking right for a role is only the half. They have to be able to deliver the substance too. Be more than the shell. Have every aspect of your persona pulled tight together. Look the part, act the part, be the part. Image can be so much more than just what you look like.

I know I've said people don't know, and don't care, jack about your personality during the initial impression. I still agree with that, and it's why you have to look the part. But if you do things right, the first impression is going to develop into an interaction. Do NOT crash and burn!

Style is...

Style is a vast amount of individuality. I think. To me, style is about MY flare, creativity, personality, expression, and my voice or my message. Style is part definition of who I am before I ever open my mouth.

This really came to me in a bold way the last couple of days. I work with this beautiful girl who is all parts bohemian goddess. She has wavy hair that comes down to the middle of her back. When she wears it loose and free it's almost overwhelming. I love it. She has an organic look too. Lots of cottons in earth tones, minimal make up, and subtle jewels. I love her look! Then you talk to her and it all ties together. She's positively one of the most positive people on earth. She can tell you a horrific story with a calm expression. She then finds the reason for the disaster and shrugs it off as a lesson learned. Her demeanor is that of a easy going, the sun will shine tomorrow, what doesn't kill us makes us strong, unbreakable woman. She's my modern day Lauren Hill before Lauren Hill stopped being Lauren Hill. And you could pick her out from every chica in the office. Amazing! She has personal style in a way that I obsess about.

Friday, August 14, 2009


It is by no means true that you are as young as you feel. Absolutely false! You are an age, represented by a number of years, signifying wisdom and time lived. And, it establishes appropriateness.

When I was a little girl I wore cute Easter dresses, white patent leather shoes, frilly socks, and a matching hat. My hair was pressed super straight and the curled to the max. I carried a basket. It was a handmade basket, by my mom and done beautifully.

As a teenager I became edgy. I wore flowy dress-like jumpers, Doc Marten boots, and a designer backpack purse.

Last year, miles from childhood, I wore an adorable fuchsia shirt dress, peep toe leopard print flats, beautiful handbag, and enough well thought out, and executed, accessories to fill a window display. I was leaning on classic, but still quite edgy. My style has evolved, because I am almost 30, for fashion's sake! My age progressed, so naturally my style followed.

What would I look like in Doc Martens with a backpack purse now? A hot mess!

Junior's department? Seriously?

If you are in the vicinity of your high school reunion, or it has passed, you should not be shopping in the junior's department. Nothing in your closet should have odd numbers. Well unless you are a professional athlete, and that's a 50/50 shot. And yes, odd sizes signify junior's sizes.

Our bodies change drastically at the end of, and after, our teen years. Junior clothes don't accommodate adult bodies. The day comes that we must let this go. And that day just happens to be the day after our high school graduations.

The prep starts early though. All the retail heavy hitters, successfully mixing trend, classic fab, and comfort, size for misses and women's. Junior's aren't as glam as you may think. All the cool kids are focused on the evens. It's odd to be odd.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Office attire for the fashionably challenged

I just returned to the workforce, well to the traditional workforce. I've been a SAHM and a WAHM all along. But now, I am back to waking when the rooster crows, dressing following employer standards, between professional and casual, and punching a clock. This kind of sucks overall. I do have a great job, with great people, and an office with real walls and doors. I especially thank God for that, because I turn the volume up high on the iPhone everyday after lunch. Gotta stay alert for the man!

I have made a lot of first impressions recently and fashion, comfort, and confidence have been on my mind. I'd been taking notice of myself and my co-workers ensembles everyday for material for this very blog entry. It's been two weeks, and I have a lot to say!

First, I am in no way trying to poke fun at anyone. This is for entertainment purposes yes, but also to educate!

Okay, all about me. I learned an important lesson Wednesday of this week. I typically iron up most of my clothes and my son's on Saturday. This way during the week we have plenty of clothes to choose from for the next morning. Then if we happen to change our minds the next morning we still have plenty of options to change out. It works really well for us. So I picked a number of basic pieces. I knew I would be organizing my office and doing some training. I wanted to be comfortable and able to move around in all my clothing. One of the pieces I picked was a white cotton blouse. It's a poplin shirt for the most part with a little additional flare. It opened wide with big sleeves. It was adorable with my brown trousers and leopard print peep-toe flats. I looked really nice, but I was as comfortable as I would be in jeans and a T-shirt. I moved throughout my entire day without a snag. I ran into a guy I once dated in my office and a few friends of friend's. Never thought twice about my appearance because I had picked my outfit with confidence and accessorized it beautifully. Wait, I finally punched out, got home, and accidentally walked past a full length mirror. I was horrified! My cute tunic styled white shirt had wrinkled itself into looking like a crumpled up paper bag. I took it out of workplace rotation immediately. It taught me a great lesson. Look at my clothes before I leave, during my work day, and when I return home, this way I can really see what's best as a repeat outfit because clothing changes. How often I've worn a shirt for a few hours and it stretches out during wear. Many things can go from a nice comfortable fit to a slouchy mess. Cottons are notorious for this! Be careful. The moral of this story is be knowledgeable of what you wear, how you wear it, feel in it, and look. It's really that simple.

Okay next up, the office appropriate shoe. I like to push the envelope just like anyone else does. I will rock a cute thong sandal, a loud bold flat, or a runway ready pump given opportunity. But, we must be careful to be appropriate. I walked through my office and saw running ready sneakers, beat up old thong sandals, and shoes surely made from craft supplies. What? I know that sneakers are appropriate for some jobs in my office, but what's wrong with a cute pair of sneakers worn with a nice fitting jean and an adorable top? Do they have to be the sneakers you walk the dog in, garden in, and run in? Sandals, the summer brings out some really cute sandals and some really bad train wrecks! And, please never ever never walk into the office in a rubber thong sandal. Be real, appropriate is where, when, and how long. Don't jump in 5 inch heels for a long day of bank teller or retail work, and do not ever wear a shoe that you've had a life time to make a good impression. Remember to find professionalism in every aspect of your attire. Be comfortable and confident. Every day at the workplace is a day to shine.

The word of the day should just be appropriateness. Where do you work? I work in a professional medical building, in a business causal office. I know I don't work in a club, at the beach, in a dorm, or at the local burger joint. Now there's nothing wrong with having any of those jobs, but our dress is drastically different. Including, don't let anything cute too low, start too high, or show too much. Own, and use, an iron. Be careful in the care of your clothes. You lose respect with every wrinkle and fade. Be knowledgeable of fit, and how fit may change during the course of the day. And know what you may disregard others will focus on. So be careful of those raggedy hems, stained garments, missing buttons, and bad decisions. They will be noticed!

Still, be comfortable and confident. Every day at the workplace is an opportunity to shine. Don't let anything steal that chance away from you. Your fashion should enhance who you are! Professional dress is not the avoidance of personality. It's working harder to find that middle ground.