Who do you dress for?

I learned another lesson from my son today, a cold day in Texas. I was getting my kid dressed just to hang out at home. We were taking our baths and putting on clothes to sit on our comfy couch and watch loads of TV. My son is an amazing 4 year old. He has this great sense of identity to be so fresh in the world. I think he's incredible.

We're standing in his closet. He's in an undershirt, underwear, and socks. He's still wearing his shark towel, because his hair is kinda wet. We're looking at his clothes trying to figure out what would be perfect, and warm, for a lazy day at home. He keeps choosing the adorable school clothes that have just been washed and ironed. I keep cringing and suggesting the stained t-shirts and pants with pin holes. We can't agree. So I do what I should have done many failed suggestions ago, I ask him why he keeps choosing that stuff. He replies, "because I like it." I tell him we aren't going anywhere. It's so cold outside. I just want to hang out at home. No one will see his "cool clothes." He replies, "I still like them."

He's a smart boy. He dresses in what he likes. He wears what he wants and feels great in it. He dresses for himself! He walks around with his self confidence off the charts, and I'm proud of him. I want to be more like him.

Who do you dress for?
Once, I dressed for specific people or events. Later, I realized that I only looked nice some of the time. Meaning, I was going out as a slob every time I didn't "plan" to see anyone. That's insanity, and I'm embarrassed. I cannot dictate who I may come in contact with after I walk out my front door. So it turned out that I was always in the public, bumping into some of those specific people, without my "fancy" attire.

I had to establish style, a daily no matter what style. I broke down my wardrobe. I looked at what I really enjoyed about my clothes to fix them. I didn't want to invest money into a phenomenal wardrobe that I'd never wear. So, I went from tight flare-leg jeans to comfortably fitted straight-leg jeans, over sized cotton t-shirts to flattering cotton tunics and blouses, and sneakers to ballet flats. And that has made all the difference! Well the difference for casual clothes. I already had a pretty good handle on "fancy."

Same issue, but drastically in the other way. I know people that always over dress to impress. So you look super trendy, but there's little of your personality involved. You are head to toe trend. I'd bet that's not very flattering on you either. Every trend will NEVER work for everyone!

Get dressed for yourself primarily. If you please yourself, become the most confident you've ever been, everything else will just fall perfectly into place. I am working with this everyday. We all are. It's Murphy's Law, the moment you decide against following the rules you run into the man who once broke your heart and you're wearing tattered, over sized, sweats and no bra. But, you were just running to the corner store for a paper. It doesn't matter, because it will undoubtedly happen, I promise. Push yourself, as I continue to push myself, to be better today that yesterday and better tomorrow than today. Be like my son!

And again I must preach, have style that speaks to you, is flattering, and fun. Now I'm done, go on and take over the world!

Shoes you must have

I'm finally watching an episode of Oprah that I DVR'd months ago. It's called "Oprah's Shoe, Handbag, and Accessory Intervention, with Bra Updates," from November 2, 2009.

Hey Ladies, these shoes you must have in your wardrobe, or so says Oprah's people.

1. black pumps - with a kitten heel

2. comfortable flats - that work for both work and weekends

3. show stopping gorgeous shoes - with some umpf

4. cute non-athletic sneakers

5. tall boots

6. All-weather boots

Now you know that I don't agree with everything, because I never do. I'm not really a tall boot person. I don't think they (the ones I tried, before I gave up) accent my legs and body shape well. I would rather just include a flattering boot for 5. My flattering boot is the bootie, and (I lied) I can pull off the perfect riding boot. Most of you are just like me, every boot doesn't work for everyone. Remember, just purchase yourself a flattering boot! Spend wisely, because this should be considered an investment.

I do think this is a great list. I'd never run across a shoe list before, wow.

Why did you purchase that?

My problem with shopping is that I'm between sizes. I won't share what those sizes are, but I am. So of course I don't follow my own rules. When I shop, I go down to the smaller of the two sizes. I should purchase large and tailor, but I can't always push myself to do the right thing. It's near impossible to get me to buy anything larger than I am. I'm busting my tail to lose weight. Go up a size? I don't think so. Anyway staying on target, this very moment I have three items riding around in my car that need to go to the tailor. I even pass the tailor a few times a week, at least, but I never feel I have the time to go in and get pinned. So I push myself to drop a few pounds to get into the smaller size, and it usually works for me. But this isn't a big stretch. I'm not buying a few sizes too small. I'm purchasing a size one inch smaller. I could even fix this with a Spanx. It's not a good idea though. You should do just as the wise Stacy London and Clint Kelly say, on TLC's What Not To Wear, dress for the size you are now.


I poke fun at my mom and my aunt often about their purchases. Why did they purchase that...whatever, I tease that it's because it's on sale. It's tempting to buy because it's now 75% off, but if it's not worth that discounted price in your life you wasted your money. So you scored a great deal on those jeans, but they're slightly tapered, high waisted, and too light. You just did yourself a injustice while you saved money. Plus, you turn around and donate or sell at a lose in a yard sale. You just cost yourself money while you saved money. Be careful that your great buy really is a great buy for your body, style, and wardrobe.


It's so pretty. I had to have it. Now with shoes, I should be slapped. I love a pretty shoe! I love, love, and love a pretty shoe! But, shoe designers do not love my wide feet. I often purchase shoes that I know are too tight because they are so pretty. Then I just own them, but never wear them, or I occasionally wear them with tears in my eyes. I know people that do this for everything in their wardrobe. They buy the wrong tunic, blouse, dress, or jacket because it's pretty. They squeeze into skinny jeans knowing they are unflattering on their shape. I appreciate beautiful clothes and fun trends. Hell, I obsess about bikinis and formal gowns every year and whatever trendy thing young Hollywood is sporting, but they don't always belong in my life. They usually don't belong in my life actually, but it's still okay to love these things. It's okay to love clothes. It's even okay to have a healthy obsession with clothes. But remember, you don't have to own, or wear, every pretty thing you see. Buy, and wear, what works on your body and in your life. I'll take that into consideration with shoes. Naw, I just need to find something to stretch these new platform pumps out from a M to a W.

Reflection

2009 was a difficult year for me. I learned a lot of hard lessons. I did things I never thought I'd have to do. I was put in situations that I never saw coming. I had a number of failed friendships and relationships. I learned. I saw the reason for many of the changes in my life. I realized that God was not so much testing me, but clearing a path for something new. I am blessed! I have overcome so many things. I have grown incredibly in a year.

I thank God for this life. I am mother to an amazing kid. We have our health. We are surrounded with love. We have peace and stability in our lives. I appreciate the renewed faith that comes with understanding that God does not take us through anything without reason and strength.

I look forward to 2010. I am more confident than I have ever been! I am more focused, logical, and realistic. I am dedicated to my goals and driven. I have so much more potential than I ever gave myself credit for. My opportunities are endless! This is simply the beginning.

Look out for the growth and successes we are all capable of attaining in this new year. I wish you all prosperity.

With love,
me